


Our Happy Place

by SwanQueen4tw



Category: The Young and the Restless
Genre: Angst with a Happy Ending, F/F, Friendship, Hurt/Comfort
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-05-01
Updated: 2018-05-09
Packaged: 2019-04-30 21:32:15
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 13,542
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14505885
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SwanQueen4tw/pseuds/SwanQueen4tw
Summary: After the fallout with Noah, the pressure of friends, family, and the press is getting to Tessa and Mariah. They feel the need to get out of GC for a while. Back to a place they were happy. What happens when that happy place ends up with them face to face?





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> A/N: Song Used: You Are the Reason by Calum Scott https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ShZ978fBl6Y
> 
> Some dialog (used before making pancakes) was used from the show.

**Mariah’s POV**

Once Noah left, I collapsed on the couch and hid my face in a pillow. _I’m a horrible sister! Maybe I don’t deserve to have a family. He’s right. I should have been more loyal to him. But I finally had a friend who understood._ “Oh, no.”

          “Sweetie,” Sharon sat beside me; rubbing my back. “What is it?”

          “After everything, I want to warn Tessa that Noah’s out for blood. But…I don’t know if I should.”

          My mother was quiet a moment. Taking a deep breath, she spoke. “What does your gut tell you to do?”

          “Even after everything…I still want to warn her.”

          “Then do.”

          Taking out my phone, I hit speed dial number three. The phone rang a few times before going to Tessa’s voicemail. “Noah knows everything. He’s out for blood. I just...I wanted to warn you.” Ending the call, I stared at the musician’s photo. It was of us one night at The Underground.

          _“Come on, Mariah. It’s just a picture.” Wrapping an arm around my shoulders, Tessa pulled me close, snapping a few pictures until I finally smiled. “See? Was that so bad?”_

_“No…” I sipped my drink as she checked us in on FacePlace. “You’re an addict.”_

_A wholesome laugh escaped the taller woman. “Oh, you’re one to talk. You’re the Co-host of GC Buzz! You run their social media page.”_

          “You always loved that picture.” Sharon’s voice was soft as she looked over my shoulder.

          “Yeah, it was when we first started knowing one another. More than she’s “the one who plays at the park” and I’m “Noah Newman’s sister.”” Tossing the phone gently on the coffee table, I huffed rubbing my temples. “I’m sure by now Devon knows. We just became friends again. I mean, I did right by him but I’m sure he’ll still be hurt by this.”

          “Are you going to talk to him?”

          “Yeah, I might as well.” Sliding into my coat, I grabbed my purse. “If you hear Victor’s put a hit on me, let me know?”

          “Mariah,” she paused knowing it could be a possibility. “I will.”

          Before going to HWG, I picked up a peace offering from Crimson Lights. Stepping onto Devon’s floor, I knocked gently and waited. “Come in.”

          “Hey.” My voice was small. “Can we talk?”

          Closing his laptop, Devon leaned back in his chair. “Sure. Unless you’re here to try and talk me into resigning Tessa. Which wouldn’t make sense at this point.”

          “What?” I set the coffees on his desk. “No. I’ve not spoken to Tessa. Did you take her off the label?”

          “Yes, she wasn’t bringing in the money she needed. And if the lawsuit went to court, I would lose more money than I already am. Please, take a seat.” Devon waited until I was seated to continue. “If you’re not here on Tessa’s behalf, what brings you by? I know it’s not just a coffee run.”

          “You’re right.” I held onto the cup like it was a lifeline. “Have you talked to Noah today?”

          “No. Why?” I was quiet. “Mariah, we’re friends. What is it?”

          “I wasn’t totally truthful with you when we broke up. I didn’t tell you something that I’d rather you hear from me than Noah.”

          “Okay.” Devon’s expression was calm as he sipped his coffee. “What is it?” Another long silence fell between us. “Mariah?”

          “I kissed Tessa while the four of us were in San Francisco.” I waited for an anger that never came. Finally gaining the nerve to look at my former boyfriend, I was shocked to see his expression hadn’t changed. “Devon?”

          “I thought that something happened between the two of you. It wasn’t clear what happened but it was obvious that something happened. When you broke up with me, I knew it was because of someone else. You never said who but I’m not blind. I saw how close the two of you were. Then what happened with her song and your journal.”

          “I’m sorry, Devon.”

          “Don’t apologize. You can’t help who you fall in love with. I take it Noah doesn’t feel the same way?”

          “No. He’s devastated. More so that Sharon knew and didn’t tell him. So not only was I lying to him about having feelings for his girlfriend, his own Mother knew about it.”

          “Sharon’s in an impossible position.”

          “That’s what I said.” Knowing that Devon wasn’t angry helped. _He should be furious but for some reason he’s pretty chill about the whole thing._

          “What are you going to do now?”

          “Honestly? I don’t know. Get out of town until everyone cools off a little? I mean, I know Hilary is going to be all over me once this gets out. “New Year New Hilary” or not, she smells drama she’s going to make a segment about it.”

          “You’re right.” He paused a moment. “Why don’t you take my jet and stay somewhere nice. Get out of GC for a while. I’ll pay for it.”

          “D-Devon, I can’t possibly do that. Especially on your dime.” _Is he insane? He must be._

          “Just think about it and let me know. I can have everything ready in a few hours.” I sat staring dumbfounded at the man. _There has to be something attached to this. Or a plan of some sort._ I jumped hearing Hilary’s ringtone. An amused grin played at the man’s face as a brow rose. “You have “Bullshitter Alert” as her ringtone?”  

          “You know Hilary and I have a…strained relationship.” Once a visual voicemail came through, I groaned inwardly reading it.

_Mariah, we need to talk. I know about you and Tessa._

          “On second thought, I’ll take it.”

          Another chuckle. “She’s made you change your mind that quickly?”

          “I just…I can’t.” Texting Hilary back, I asked for my vacation and turned my phone on vibrate. “When do I leave?”

          “In three hours. Meet me here and I’ll have you sent on your way.” Jotting down an address, Devon continued. “I’ll handle transportation, hotel, food, everything. It’ll truly be an escape to clear your head.”

          “Thank you, Devon.”

          “You’re welcome. Go tell Sharon, pack, and try to relax.”

Xxx

          “Are you sure about this?” Sharon watched as I packed.

          “Yes. I need to get out of here. Hilary is blowing up my phone with texts, emails, and calls. I need to clear my head and figure out why I wanted to protect the woman who stole my words and used them for profit. Tessa’s whole life is music and Devon cut her from the label. I feel bad for her and I shouldn’t.” Sitting on my bed, Sharon gave me “The Look”. “Oh, no. Do not. No.”

          “You’re still in love with her, Mariah. That’s why you feel the way you do.”

          “I don’t want to be. I can’t be. That’s exactly why I can’t be in GC for a while. If I see her and she’s crying all I’ll want to do is wrap her in my arms and tell her everything will be alright.”

          “Okay.” Placing a calming hand on mine, she continued. “I hope this trip helps you.”

          “Thank you. I have to meet Devon in,” checking my phone, I sighed knowing relaxation was close. “An hour.”

          “Where’s he sending you?”

          Pausing, I thought a moment. “I actually don’t know. Hilary started calling me and I just agreed. It’s Devon though. He’s a nice guy. He’s not mad about the kiss. He, actually, knew that something must have happened.”

          “Well, I hope you have fun.” Starting towards my door, Sharon turned. “I’ll make a quick lunch.” 

Xxx

          “Hey,” waving his hand in the air, Devon gained my attention. “Ready to go?”

          “Yeah.” Hoisting a bag onto my shoulder, I picked up the larger rolling suitcase. “Where are you sending me?”

          “It’s a surprise. Let me get your bags.”

          _Now I’m getting suspicious. He’s being too nice._ “Come on, you can tell me.”

          “It’s a surprise. Get in.” Ignoring every red flag, I climbed the steps of the private jet. “Comfortable?”

          “Yeah.”

          “Good. The flight takes about four hours so dinner will be served soon. You’re favorite: fettuccini alfredo and wine.”

          “Okay, seriously. Where am I going?”

          “San Francisco.” With that, he shut the door and left me speechless.

Xxx

**Tessa’s POV**

I barely got everything put away before Devon came in. “Tessa? Is that you?”

          “Yes. I just got here. Coffee should be ready soon.”

The man studied me. “We need to talk.”

          “What is it?” I tried keeping my voice from shaking.

          “I know you slept here. Don’t try to deny it. Security sent me an alert when there was movement in the office.”

          Hanging my head, I sighed. “I don’t have a place to go. Noah kicked me out and I can’t go back to Mariah’s.” I paused thinking about the redhead. “Have you spoken to her by chance? I know the two of you are friends.”

          “Yes, we’ve spoken.” _He’s hiding something. Is she okay?_ “Before you panic, she’s fine. But look, I can’t have you sleeping here.” He took a deep breath. “Hilary and the press are breathing down my neck, and soon yours, for anything about the scandal. I’m sending you away for a little while. You will come back, I promise. Everything will be paid for.”

          “Devon, I-“

          “You have no choice, Tessa. If you want to keep your job, you’ll go. Understood?”

          “Yes.”

          “Good. You’ll be gone for a week. Now, go to the athletic club and freshen up. Pack whatever you’d like and meet me at this address in about three hours.”

          Taking the sticky note, I gathered my things. “Okay.”

          A few hours passed, and I met Devon at the air strip. Climbing into the plane, I got settled. “Where are you sending me?”

          “I’m sending you about four hours away to a place you can think.” Before closing the door, he finished. “Have fun in San Francisco.”

          “What?! Devon!” I was thrown back into my seat as the plane started going down the runway. _That’s what he was hiding. This has to be a punishment._ Once beverages were able to be served, I drank an entire bottle of wine on my own. Sadly, it didn’t help my guilt.

          Landing in San Francisco, a car was waiting to take me to the hotel. I groaned seeing the hotel and wanted to crawl into a hole when I realized he had me in the same room I kissed Mariah in. “He is so punishing me.” Taking the room key, I made my way towards the two-bedroom suite. “God, help me.”

          Stepping off the elevator, I smelt a familiar perfume. Guilt clenched my heart thinking of the red-haired woman I secretly loved. I tried opening the door but the chain was locked. “What the-?”

          “Hold on.” My heart dropped hearing Mariah’s voice. “Who is…” Her face fell seeing me. “It?” Her brow creased in confusion. “Tessa, what are you doing here?”

          “Devon sent me. He said it was for work.” My voice trailed off as the realization of his plan dawned on both of us.

          “He set us up. Knowing neither of us could afford this type of break, he knew we wouldn’t turn it down.”

“He’s forcing us to talk to one another.” I added cautiously.

“There’re two bedrooms. We don’t have to talk.” Her voice was cold.

“If that’s what you want. I know I’m the last person you want to see. If I could afford another hotel, I would go.”

Hearing her phone ring, Mariah looked over her shoulder. “Come in and take the other bedroom. That’s Devon’s tone.” Doing as instructed, I listened to my former best friend’s conversation. “You set us up. Devon, I can’t believe you did this.” Thankfully, she put him on speaker.

“Look, the two of you obviously need to talk. This was the only way I could get both of you in the same space. I’m giving you a week to figure whatever is between the two of you out. You can take it or spend a week in separate rooms. It’s up to you.” _I know she has that adorable crinkle on her forehead. And she’s rubbing her temple, I just know it._ Glancing into the living room, I smiled seeing that I was right.

“Fine.” Ending the call, Mariah leaned her head back with a silent scream. “I was about to order lunch. I haven’t had time to stock the kitchen yet. I was going to do that afterwards. What would you like?”

“Uhm, I’ll look at the menu.” Cautiously, I walked out of my room. “I do want to talk…but only when you’re ready to hear it.”

Turning, Mariah caught my gaze. Hers was cold but there was something behind it. “Not tonight.  Maybe not even tomorrow, or the day after.” She paused realizing how harsh her tone had become. “But, we will talk before the week is up.”

“Okay.” We ate lunch in silence. _I’ve never seen her so closed off before. I caused this. I’ve hurt her more than I ever thought._ “Do you need help getting groceries?”

“No. If there’s anything you want, write it down.” Finishing her meal, Mariah set it on the cart. “I’m going to shower and go out. You can do what you want.” She paused at her room’s door, “my journal is off limits. If you ever want the chance of speaking to me again, you won’t go snooping in my room.”

“Understood.” Leaning back into the pillows, I closed my eyes and sighed. _I’ve really messed up. She said we would talk. I just need to wait until then. I know exactly how Mariah feels. She needs to know mine. Even the ones I can’t say._

Sliding into her coat, Mariah spoke firmly. “Okay, I’m heading out. I need to do a few other things as well so I’m not sure when I’ll be back.”

_Her voice is friendlier. That’s a good sign, right?_ “Have fun. If you need my help bringing groceries up, let me know?”

Green eyes studied me a moment. “I’ll let you know.” With that, she was gone.

Since there was nothing to do, I brought out my guitar and notebooks. Every once in a while, I’d glance towards Mariah’s room. _It won’t make things right, but maybe it’s a start._ Scribbling a quick note, I opened her door and tossed the notebook onto the bed. _I didn’t step inside the room so I didn’t break any rules._

Xxx

**Mariah’s POV**

I stood in front of the hotel staring up towards the floor Tessa was on. _I have to go in eventually. The creamer and dairy will go bad soon._ Gathering my courage, I made my way towards our room. I stopped when I heard her singing.

“There goes my heart beating because you are the reason I’m losing my sleep. Please come back now. There goes my mind racing and you are the reason that I’m still breathing. I’m hopeless now. I’d climb every mountain and swim every ocean just to be with you and fix what I’ve broken. Oh, because I need you to see that you are the reason.” A bitter laugh escaped the musician’s throat. “Love and pain, perfect motivators. I’m such an idiot.” Knocking lightly with my foot, I waited for Tessa. “Hey, let me grab some of those.” Taking an armful of bags, the taller woman allowed me entrance. “Did you have a good outing?”

“Yes, I got some things done. Probably had too much coffee doing so.” _She’s been crying. I wonder who that song was about._ Glancing towards the couch, I started unloading the bags in the small kitchen. “You were playing?”

The blood drained quickly from Tessa’s face. “Y-yes. There wasn’t anything on TV so…I figured I could…” She squirmed under my gaze. “Anyway, thanks for going to the store.”

“You’re welcome.” I smiled softly hoping to ease the woman’s nerves. _It was about me. I’m not going to let her off that easily but maybe I won’t be so cold._

A relatively comfortable silence fell between us as we watched movies. _She knows I’m not ready to talk and isn’t pushing the topic. Maybe she really is genuine about wanting to fix things. But should I? She betrayed me and then tried to use my feelings to get what she wanted. I’m so confused._   That familiar ache started in my temples. _Ugh. Maybe I need to just sleep on it._ The silence was broken when Tessa jerked awake. “You okay?” I couldn’t help but chuckle at the deer-in-the-headlights look she had.

“Yeah, I guess I just fell asleep too fast.” Yawning, the woman stretched. “I’m going to bed. I didn’t sleep on the way here. I was too…preoccupied.” Walking towards her room, she stopped at the door. “Goodnight, Mariah.”

_She’s so timid._ “Night, Tessa.” I paused a moment. “Still like your coffee walking?”

A smile I’ve not seen in months broke free. “Is there any other way to make it?”

“Depends on who you ask. See you in the morning.” With a nod, Tessa closed her door. I finished the movie and decided to turn in myself. After my nightly routine, I noticed a worn leather journal with a note clipped to the front on my bed.

_Mariah,_

_I didn’t go into the room. I threw it from the door. I know this won’t make up for what I’ve done but maybe it will show you that I meant what I said about feeling a connection with you. In this journal is my soul. Everything I’ve felt since before I arrived in GC. It’s yours to read if you’d like. -Tessa_

I sat staring at the tattered brown leather debating whether I should read it. _Should I? Even now, I don’t want to invade her privacy but she’s letting me. Tessa gave this to me to read._ Throwing caution to the wind, I opened the book carefully. I skipped a few parts and started reading when Crystal went missing.

_I finally met the woman with red hair. Her name is Mariah and she’s just as beautiful up close as she is far away. I’m working with her half nephew or something? Maybe cousin. I don’t know. She “forced” me to play The Underground at open mic night. Honestly, I wanted to play just to impress her. It doesn’t help that she comes up to me when I play in the park with coffee. I sound like a school girl but she’s...I’m not sure how to word what she is. I can see that she’s been through a lot like me. She doesn’t judge me for my clothes like everyone else in this town._

          Flipping a few pages, I continued reading.

_God help me if I see that woman in a tank top and tight yoga pants again. I saw her at the athletic club and about died. I’m not sure what’s going on between us. We get along fantastically. But…I’m not sure what I feel about her. I feel warm and tingly when I’m around her._

          I smiled reading Tessa’s words. They took me back to that time of our friendship. Back when I wasn’t sure what was going on with me. The awkwardness of not knowing how I felt or what I felt. _The only thing I knew for sure was that I wanted to be around her more than anyone else._ Not wanting my mind to linger, I flipped a few more pages.

_I’m such an idiot! I panicked after we kissed and said it meant nothing. That it was just an impulse. I’ve wanted, dreamt of, kissing her for months and when it finally happens I panic and tell her we need to lock it in a vault. What the hell does that even mean? I’m such an idiot. Her lips were softer than I imagined and the tastes of coffee and peppermint…I know it’s wrong because I’m with Noah, her brother, and she’s with Devon but…I’m selfish. I wanted to get lost in that kiss. I wanted to pull her into my arms and just hold her._

_I’m living down the hall from the woman I have feelings for but I’m with her brother. How did I get myself into this mess? I love Noah but it’s nothing like what I feel for Mariah. I think she feels the same but I’m not sure. I’m finally safe. I don’t have to worry if I’ll have a place to stay. But I know this is wrong. I shouldn’t be with him when I’m thinking about her._

          Warm, salty tears streamed down my cheeks as I read. Feeling a lump starting to form in my throat, I leaned my head back on the pillows. _God, she felt guilty for dating Noah. And she probably knew I waited for her to come home. I always stayed up just so I could see her one last time before I went to sleep._

_I yearn for the moments we have together. She always brightens my day. They’ve been dark since Chrystal went off the radar. All the waiting is killing me inside. But the look on her face when I said she looked hot at the club was beyond adorable and cute. She’s strong but in that split second, she wasn’t sure what to think._

Tears or not, I couldn’t help the laugh that escaped my throat. I remembered that day and how I felt when she looked at me. _I melted when she said I looked hot. There was a playful hunger in her eyes as a thin layer of sweat glistened on her pale skin._

_I’m a terrible person. Every time I kiss Noah I think of Mariah. It’s tearing me apart. I shouldn’t lead him on like this. Or her. We’ve talked and I leveled with her. I said I loved her as a friend but that was a lie. I’m in love with her. But, I missed my chance. I should have told Mariah the truth but I…I couldn’t. Seeing her cry like that rips me to shreds. I wanted nothing more than to wrap her in my arms and never let go. Tell her the truth. That I want to be with her but I’m scared. I couldn’t. I’m not strong like she is._

_It’s been months since San Fran and now Mariah doesn’t even acknowledge me when we’re in the same room. She’ll be civil or tolerate small moments if we’re around Noah or someone else. Devon wants me to come up with a new song but I can’t think of anything that wouldn’t basically be an apology to Mariah or expressing how I feel about her. If I was to do that…it’d destroy so many people._

          Flipping the page, I was at the last entry. It was dated for when she sang my words on the show. _I’ve made it this far. I might as well finish._ Glancing towards the clock, I realized it was close to three in the morning. _I’ve been reading for two hours. I’m still angry with her but less maybe?_ Turning my attention towards the tear stained page, I read.

_I’m beyond disgusting. I stole Mariah’s journal and read it. Not only that but I turned it into a hit song and played it on the Hilary Hour. The pain I saw in Mariah’s face was…I don’t know how to describe it. I betrayed my only friend. I don’t blame her for hating me or what she said. I’m…_

          The ink was too smudged from tears to read further. _I don’t think she could finish._ Seeing new drops on the page, I quickly wiped my face. _I didn’t realize I started crying again._ Closing the book, I stared at my door trying to decide if I should say something now or wait. _I’ll put it outside her door at least. Then I’ll go to bed._ Quietly, I placed the journal by Tessa’s door before retreating back to my room.

Xxx

          The next morning, I woke to the smell of fresh coffee. Smiling, I half hopped we could make breakfast together like old times but I forgot to get blueberries for the pancakes. Stretching, I ran my fingers through messy hair making sure it wasn’t sticking out before exiting the room. “Smells fantastic.”

          “I hope I didn’t wake you.” There was still caution in Tessa’s voice but she seemed less anxious.

          “Not at all. I got the salted caramel creamer we both like.” Taking down two mugs, I waited for the coffee.

          A smile tugged at the musician’s lips when she saw my T.A.R.D.I.S. mug. “You bring that thing with you everywhere, don’t you?”

          “Don’t hate. Just because you don’t get all nerdy about sci-fi doesn’t mean others don’t.” I paused with a devilish grin. “Besides, do I need to mention the fact that certain parties _still_ play Pokémon Go?”

          “Touché’.” Tessa paused becoming serious. “I wish I had a T.A.R.D.I.S. sometimes.” She mumbled as the coffee pot beeped.

          “I know. But, sadly, neither of us have one.” Hearing the other woman’s stomach growl, I laughed. “Pancakes? There aren’t blueberries but-“

          “Actually, we do have some.” Walking towards the fridge, the taller woman pulled out a carton of mixed berries. “I noticed you got everything to make pancakes and forgot them.  I got up early to get some but all they had were these. On the walk, I hatched a ten-kilometer egg.”

“You are such a nerd.” There was an unspoken question between us that Tessa desperately wanted answered. “Yes, I read everything. You can stop freaking out.”

          “And?” Her voice was timid.

          “It doesn’t magickly make everything go away. You betrayed me in the worst possible way. But, it shows that there might be a chance to become friends again. Tessa, it will be a lot of work. I’ve had a crappy past. You know better than anyone that I don’t trust easily.”

          “I know.” Pausing, Tessa debated her words swaying from foot to foot. “Can I say something? I know you don’t want to talk about things yet but, I need to say it.”

          Folding my arms, I braced myself. “Sure.”

          “Your journal was private. I had no business reading it. Let alone using it. I am so sorry for what I did. I was desperate and selfish. And I could not have been more wrong.”

          “Thank you for finally admitting that.”

          “Thank you for letting me say it. And I have something else to tell you.” Tessa paused not quite sure how thin the ice she stood on was. “It might be hard for you to hear.”

          “Go ahead.”

          “Even though I completely mishandled it, we wrote a good song together. I didn’t lie when I said what you wrote inspired me. It’s like, I could hear your voice in my head and then the rest of the lyrics and music just came to me. We would have been terrific partners, you and I. If I would have been upfront and honest, a lot of things would have been different.”

          “What are you looking for from me?”

          “Being friends again would be cool.” The musician’s voice cracked as she swayed foot to foot.

          _She always does that when she’s nervous._ “I already told you we can’t go back.”

          “And you’re right. But maybe we can find a way forward.”

          “Tessa, I can’t trust you. Why-“

          “You were the first true friend I’ve ever had. And I can’t stand that I lost you.” Tessa’s voice was choked as a tear ran down her cheek.

          “You shoved me away. Even when you still had feelings for me. You knew how I…” Pausing, I tried calming myself. I could feel that pain coming back. “I told you how I felt about you and you told me we missed our chance.” Something broke inside the taller woman when I said “felt.” _She took a step back. Did she think I’d come running to her after what she did? No. She knows me better than that._

“I broke us. And I would do anything,” cautiously, Tessa stepped closer. “To repair that. And I believe, deep down, you want that too.”

          _Seeing how hurt she is it’s killing me._ “We can’t just hit the reset button.”

          “I don’t expect you to forgive and forget anything.”

          “Then what do you expect?”

          That familiar goofy grin tugged at red lips. “Hi, I’m Tessa. Do you not want to spend this entire week in your bedroom and maybe hang out? Or do you hate me too much to do that?”

          Shaking my head, I couldn’t help but smile as I took her hand. “I could never hate you.”

Xxx

**Tessa’s POV**

          _I finally got that out. At least there’s hope to get back to friends. I don’t blame her for not wanting more. Even though she knows I reciprocate her feelings. Maybe one day. For now, I’m perfectly content with having my friend back. Especially if we can joke like we used to._ “Alright. Everything is ready for you to do your thing.”

          “You’re just jealous that I can flip a pancake and it not hit the floor.” Smirking playfully, Mariah started moving the skillet.

          “You’re right. I am jealous of that.” I couldn’t help but laugh as the redhead rolled her eyes. “I’ll set the table. I don’t remember them having plates last time we were here.”

          “Because they didn’t.” Carefully, Mariah flipped a pancake into the air and caught it. “I’m pretty sure Devon planned this entire thing. He just didn’t stock the fridge.”

          Biting my lip, I leaned against the counter. “I’m glad he did.” I continued watching each pancake being tossed expertly and every so often caught behind the shorter woman’s back. “Now you’re just showing off.”

          “A girl’s gotta get her kicks somehow.” She paused becoming serious. “I’m glad he did too. Forcing us to spend time together is making us get comfortable around one another again. And eventually, after coffee and not before noon, talk about the song.”

          “Our song?” I offered quietly. Mariah’s eyes caught mine a moment.

          “Speaking of Devon, is he keeping you at Hamilton Winters?”

          “As an assistant, yes. I’m not allowed back in the studio until I regain his trust. Which, I understand. I’m just glad to still have a job.”

          “It sucks not having a job in GC. Trust me, I know. Thankfully, people gave me second chances after everything I did to Sharon.” True regret washed over Mariah as she remembered her past. _I wonder if that’s why she’s being so kind. She’s never been one to act anything._ “Since everything, where are you living?”

_I can’t lie to her. I want her to trust me again._ “I’m-“ Luckily, Mariah’s phone rang. _Oh, thank God. It’s Sharon._

          “Can you take over for a minute?”

          “Yeah, sure.”

          Quickly, Mariah answered. “Hey, how are you?” _I shouldn’t eaves drop but she’s not exactly walking into her room and closing the door._ “We’re making pancakes. Yes, blueberry pancakes.” Taking back the skillet, Mariah finished the rest of the batter. “We’re talking.” I started to walk away only to be stopped by a spatula. Glancing towards the woman, she signaled for me to come closer and hold the phone.

          “Oh? How’s that going?”

          “Good. I’ve leaned a lot in the past twenty hours.”

          “Such as?”

          “She let me read her journal. Not to call things even but to give some perspective.”

          Sharon was quiet a moment. “And?”

          “We have a long road ahead of us. Let me call you later, okay? Breakfast is ready.” Taking the phone back, Mariah said her goodbyes. Making sure the call was disconnected, she spoke freely. “She won’t be in your corner for a long time. If she ever will be. But, she is understanding. With everything she’s done, she knows some people need second chances.”

          “Is that what you’re giving me? A second chance.” Bringing everything to the table, we sat to enjoy the view of San Fran from the small breakfast nook.

          “Yeah, of sorts. I wasn’t sure if I’d give you a second chance so quickly but Devon didn’t give me a choice. I’m glad he set this up. Otherwise, I don’t think I’d have read your journal. You know how stubborn I can be.”

          A genuine laugh escaped my throat. “Only because I’m the same way.”

          “Now,” pointing a fork in my direction, Mariah narrowed her eyes. “This is when you’re supposed to be all “no, Mariah. You’re not stubborn at all.””

          “Yeah, okay. Says the woman who forced me to watch Warehouse 13 to prove that there, in fact, was a female H.G. Wells.”

          “Oh, you loved the show after the fourth episode.”

          _We’re back to bickering like friends._ _That’s good._ “Yeah, whatever.”

          “You said you were sick just to get out of playing at The Underground and had me making up an excuse just so we could finish season two together.” She grinned triumphantly. “And you said Sci-Fi can’t be historic.”

          “It’s a rule. You can’t finish a show alone that you started with someone else.” Sipping the orange juice, I shook my head being under Mariah’s gaze. “Fine. You win. Jaime Murray did do a fantastic job.” I paused remembering the good times we had watching TV late at night. “We never did finish the show. Did you?”

          “No. But I read spoilers online. According to some fans, the fifth season doesn’t exist.”

          “Why is that?”

          “The show got cancelled so the writers just “tied things up” in a nice little bow and shoved it in everyone’s face.”

          “That really sucks.”

Xxx

          The next few days were filled with more jokes, bickering, and enjoying one another’s company. We were becoming friends again. Devon texted to make sure we’ve not killed one another yet and was quite pleased to hear that we were getting along.

          Exiting her bedroom, Mariah stared at her phone. _She looks upset and confused._ “Hey, what’s wrong?”

          “Where are you living back in GC?” Concern was clear in the redhead’s voice as she sat beside me on the couch. “Last time I asked, Sharon called.”

          “Why…” My voice trailed off when Mariah showed me her phone. “Oh.”

          “Apparently, Devon bought GC Buzz and was moving some of Hilary’s stuff in. He found the sleeping bag and toiletries. There’s only one person I know who uses that brand of hair spray.”

          Hanging my head, I clenched my jaw. “I’m homeless.” Leaning forward, I covered my face with my hands. “There. I said it. I can’t afford a place in GC even with the money I saved from my paychecks. I can’t afford a deposit and two months of rent upfront. And it’s too cold to live in my car.”

          “Tessa,” placing a hand on my back, Mariah tried to sooth me. “I’m sorry.”

          “I feel like I deserve it. I stole from you, ruined our friendship, lost Devon’s trust, and hurt Noah. Karma really bit me.” Tears burnt my eyes thinking about what I did to Mariah.

          “You don’t deserve to be homeless. That’s overdoing the punishment. Let me text Nick and see if there are any openings at Rainbow Gardens. You’ll have to deal with construction but-“

          “That…that’s fine.” Leaning back, I met Mariah’s soft gaze. “Why are you helping me after what I did?”

          “Because everyone deserves a second chance. The past few days have shown me that you really do regret what you did. Everyone makes mistakes.”

          “Thank you, Mariah.” Before I could stop myself, I wrapped the shorter woman in a strong embrace. I’m not sure if it was impulse or not, but she reciprocated the hug instantly. Realizing what I had done, I moved back quickly. “I’m so sorry. I didn’t mean to…”

          “As long as you don’t mention a vault, you’re fine.” Smiling, Mariah wiped away my tears. Choosing her words carefully, she spoke again. “Tessa, I forgive you. For everything. But, that doesn’t mean I can forget it. I still need to figure out if I can trust you again. That will take a while. All of that being said, I still care about you.”

          “I care about you too.” I whispered fiddling with the corner of a pillow.

          “Yes, I read. And I’ve heard you singing.”

          Warmth rushed up my neck to burn my face. “Oh…” _Oh God. How much has she heard? She must realize by now I’m still in love with her._ “How much did you…”

“Enough to know how you feel. One thing we have in common is: we can’t portray our feelings well in person but we can though music or writing. I’ve heard some of the songs you’ve been working on while we’ve been here. Running water and a hairdryer only cover so much.” Taking my hand in hers, she continued. “We can’t be together, right now.” Bowing my head, I braced myself for the worst. _Here it comes. I deserve this._ “But, Tessa, look at me.” Doing as I was asked, I waited. “Maybe once we’re in a better place we can revisit the subject.”

          “R-really?” _I can’t believe what I’m hearing. She’s serious, right?_

 


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> There's a short paragraph that AO3 won't let me fix because of formatting. I apologize for the big and bold typing.

**Mariah’s POV**

          “Yes.” _I swear, Sharon is going to have me committed after she hears this. I don’t know what I’ll do about Noah. But I can’t keep myself from falling in love with her again. I don’t think I ever stopped even after everything she did. I’ve got four days to figure it out._

“That…that’s amazing of you.”

          _Her smile. How did I get here again? Oh yeah, I fell for her._ “Let’s get back to the show. I think we can finish this season before bed.” Settling back into the couch, I hit play as Tessa made another bag of popcorn.

          Circling the couch, the musician hesitated. “Can I…sit closer or…?”

Smirking playfully, I looped two fingers into the woman’s beltloop and guided her to sit beside me. “You have popcorn. Yes, you can sit closer.”

“I see how it is. You just want me for my popcorn.”

“Yup,” grabbing a handful, I started eating. “That’s right.” Just to make sure Tessa knew I was joking, I tossed a few pieces at her.

Xxx

For the first time this entire trip, it was actually nice outside. After breakfast, Tessa and I went out to sight see some of the free museums and shops we weren’t able to visit last time. Like any tourist, we had to get a picture with The Golden Gate Bridge in the background. Each selfie we tried to take never turned out well so I flagged down a nice-looking couple. “Hey, could you take our picture?”

“Of course.” The gentleman took my phone and centered us. “Ready? Three, two, one. Smile.”

“Make sure to take a few. You know how I am.” His wife kidded.

“I was already planning on it.” He moved to different angles and snapped a few pictures. “Megan always makes me take at least five in different angles. Okay. Let me know if I got a good one.”

“Thanks.” Glancing through the photos, Tessa and I agreed they looked great. “We’ve got a few good ones.”

“Awesome! It’s nice to see a couple so freely in love.” With that, they left.

“They thought…we were…” Tessa stammered.

“Yeah…they did.” _Do we really look like a couple? A couple in love at that? I can’t think about this right now._ “Ready to hit a few more spots?”

“Sure.”

Before we knew it, dinner time had come around. Dragging ourselves into the nearest restaurant, both of us realized quickly we couldn’t afford it. Before we could escape, a waiter had seated us. “Well, Devon said we could use the business card if we needed to.” Tessa offered.

“At this point, I don’t care as long as I can sit for a while. And get some food that we don’t have to cook ourselves.” Both of us nearly choked when we saw the entre prices.

“Do you mind if we split a meal? I don’t want to over stretch Devon’s good will towards me by using an insane amount of money.”

“Yeah, that’s fine. I thought The Athletic Club or even Newman Tower prices were high.” _No matter how much I make, I could never spend fifty dollars for a single plate of food and not feel guilty._

“Hello ladies, my name is Brad and I’ll be your server this evening. May I start you off with a drink?”

“Water.” Tessa and I spoke in unison.

Brad glanced between us before jotting down our drink orders. “Anything else?”

“Could we also get the garlic knots to start off with?” _Guilty pleasure. I can’t help it._

“Of course. I’ll be back in a moment.” With that, the dark-haired man left.

A nervous laugh escaped Tessa. “I feel so out of place.”

“That makes two of us.” Scanning the menu, I weighed our options. “How does the fettuccini sound?”

          “With extra parmesan?” She smiled sheepishly.

          “Yes. But not half the block again.” I couldn’t help but laugh remembering a dinner we had at the club. “The waiters just see us coming in and start shaving cheese.”  

“They really do.” Before Tessa could continue, Brad came back with our orders. 

          “Here you are, ladies.” Setting the drinks and garlic knots down, he took out a pen and pad. “Have you decided on an entrée?”

          “Yes. We’ll have the fettuccini alfredo.” Smiling, Tessa thanked Brad and waited until he was gone to continue. “I never told you but, after we had our fight, I walked in and Zack saw me coming in for lunch. He asked where you were.”

          “Really?”

          “Yeah. He only ever saw us together there. He assumed…”

          “Oh.” My heart clenched remembering my own encounter with Zack assuming Tessa and I were a couple. _So many things could have been different if we had been honest._  

          “I’m sorry.” Reaching out, Tessa squeezed my hand gently. The tender touch caused me to meet her gaze. “I didn’t mean to upset you.” Glancing at our hands, she pulled away quickly. “I’m sorry for that too. I just…the past few days have been great. I know we can never go back to how we were but it’s easy to fall back into the routines we had.”

          “I cook breakfast while you make coffee. I wash dishes while you dry and put them away.” Feeling my heart swell, I cleared my throat. “We do have routines. It’s easy to forget when no one is here to remind us. And you can stop apologizing.”

          “You mean Noah, don’t you?” A melancholy haze surrounded our table.

          “Yup.” Our conversation was interrupted when Brad brought two plates and our dish. Thanking him, we waited before continuing. “Here we’re just two women who, to everyone around us, don’t have complications. In GC, everyone knows who we are and what happened. Between us, between our exs, and all the other drama.” Seeing the fear in Tessa’s eyes, I reassured her quickly. “We’re not forgetting what happened the past few days or what will happen before we go home. I’m just saying: things will be harder back home if we…” My voice trailed off. _What am I saying? I can’t possibly be thinking that already._

          “Are seen around town? Even if we’re just friends.” Starting to fidget, Tessa served us both. “On a lighter note, this smells incredible.”

          “Right. Yes. It does.” Digging in, I couldn’t shake the feeling we were being watched.

          Dinner was filled with small talk and what else we could do while we were here. It was almost like the past few months never happened. “Ladies,” Brad smiled genuinely. “Your bill has been paid and I was instructed to bring this to your table.”

          “What?” Tessa and I looked between ourselves and to the bottle of expensive red.

          Tessa’s brow creased when she noticed the label. “Is that…”

#           **“An Antinori Tignanello, 2014…” I was breathless. _That bottle is at least a hundred dollars. Who could possibly buy that for us? And why would they?_**

                “Shall I pour it?” Brad offered.

          Saving me, Tessa intervened. “Yes, please.” With a nod, he poured us each a glass and placed the open bottle in an ice bucket. “Thank you.” She waited until he was gone to get my attention. “Mariah? Earth to Mariah.”

          “Sorry. I’m just…I’ve always wanted to try this but could never afford it.” Bringing the glass to my nose, I inhaled the notes of red fruit and hints of leather with a sweet spice. Taking a sip, I savored the ruby red liquid. “Try it.”

xxx

**Tessa’s POV**

          Seeing Mariah in her element when it came to wine was heartwarming. _She’s always loved reds. I’ll never forget her dragging me to a few tastings back in GC when we first became friends. Music is my thing and wine is hers._ Sipping the red liquid, I had to admit it was good. _I prefer whites but if it makes Mariah happy, I’ll drink as many reds as I have to._ “It’s actually really good.”

“I knew I could convert you.” She grinned triumphantly.

“Mmhmm.” Shaking my head, I continued to sip the wine.

“I’m so glad the two of you enjoy the wine.” An older woman, probably in her fifties, approached our booth with a blonde woman in tow.

“Oh, you paid for us?” Mariah smiled nervously. “Thank you, very much.”

“You’re welcome, Miss. Copeland.” Both of us stiffened. _They know who she is. How?_ “I didn’t mean to startle you. I’ve seen a few episodes of GC Buzz online. My wife and I enjoy some of the topics you talk about.”

“Oh, well, thank you. I’m flattered.” Even though the lights were dim, I knew a soft tint of pink covered the redhead’s cheeks.

          “My wife forgets that not everyone knows who she is.” The blonde chuckled. “I’m Abigail Collin and this is Alexandra Collin. We’re the Victor and Nikki Newman of San Francisco. At least from the outward appearance they give.”

          “Let’s hope your lives aren’t nearly as complicated.” Mariah mumbled. “Would you like to join us?”

          “Maybe just for coffee.” Abigail sat beside me while Alexandra slid in beside Mariah. “We’ve not watched GC Buzz lately but, congrats on your record deal.” Noticing the tension between us, Abigail continued. “Or has something happened?”

          “Misunderstandings happened.” Mariah spoke quickly. “But, Tessa is still writing.” She paused, “thankfully.”

          “Misunderstandings?” Alexandra’s brow rose. “Professional or personal?” Neither of us spoke. “No matter what happened, it’s good to see that the two of you worked things out and are still a couple.” Mariah choked on wine and grabbed her napkin to cover her mouth.

          “We’re not…together.” I spoke softly. Each word killing me inside.

          “Oh, I didn’t mean to assume. It just looked like the two of you were on a date. And you’ve been seen at festivals and other promotional events together.” That uncomfortable tension was back. “Either way, certain bonds can’t be broken. No matter how much each party screws up.”

          “Talking about us again?” Abigail smirked. “Alex and I have hurt one another a lot before we finally gave into our feelings. I dated her brother for a while.” Seeing our reactions, she continued with a knowing smile. “Ah, there it is. Let me guess, you fell in love with the person not the gender?” The blonde’s eyes burned into Mariah. “You felt warm and giddy around her. You never felt like that before or thought you could feel like that for someone?”

          Mariah was quiet a few moments before answering. “Yes.”

          “And you,” it was my turn to be under a skeptical eye. “You were with her brother even though every time you kissed him you wanted to be kissing her?” Unable to speak, I simply nodded. “Obviously, the two of you have kissed at least once. Afterwards, you lied and said it was a one-time thing. Which drove a wedge between you? Then one of you did something to betray the other.” The older woman paused seeing how correct she was. “Think of it this way: you’re here now. Enjoying a meal together, talking, and coming back to one another.” Standing, Abigail took her wife’s hand. “You only get one true love in this lifetime. Don’t miss out because of something you did out of stress or pain. Sometimes, deep cuts can create stronger bonds than before.” With that, they left.

          The cab ride back to the hotel was silent. Both of us were lost in thought. Every so often, we would catch the other watching in the window reflection. _I can’t take this anymore!_ “Mariah-“

          “Let’s get inside first. Before we talk.”  She never looked at me but placed a reassuring hand on mine.

          My heart started pounding as we entered the hotel room. Every fiber in me wanted to run because in no universe could this end well. “Four people.” Her voice was soft.

          “What?”

          “Four people thought we were a couple.” Plopping down on the couch, Mariah stared at me. “They were right. At least about me. I fell in love with _you_. I’ve never even looked or thought about a woman the way I look and think of you. Tessa, I know you had to see it.”

          “I did.” Taking a seat next to the frazzled redhead, I gave her my full attention. “They were right about how I felt too. I’ve never been with a woman before but I’ve thought about it on occasion. Then you came into my life and those thoughts came more often. When I saw you with Devon…I was…so jealous of him. He was the one holding you and comforting you in ways I’d never be able to. I tried talking myself into loving Noah and it partly worked.” _I feel like I’m going to vomit. But I need to get this out. Mariah was honest with me and I owe her the same. I just hope the outcome will be different._ “And then you kissed me. In that moment, every lie I told myself came to the surface. I panicked and lied more. After that, like she said, I thought of you every time I kissed him. How soft your lips were and how warm your touch was.” A single tear ran down my cheek as I spilt my soul. “Mariah, you mean the world to me. I never realized how big a part of my life you were until you weren’t there. Any time my phone would ring or buzz I’d hope to see your name and picture on my screen.”

          “Tessa,” Mariah’s voice was choked. “What have we gotten ourselves into?”

          “The biggest mess I’ve ever seen?” Agreeing, Mariah ran a shaky hand through messy curls. “I’ve been working on a few songs while you were asleep. Can I show you the lyrics?”

          “Sure.”

          _I’m crazy. Absolutely insane for showing Mariah this. But, I want her to see what she does to me. How she helps me become a better writer. She’s an inspiration to me. I’ve not written this much this quickly before._ Sitting back down, I flipped to the pages where I had scribbled notes. “Here,” handing her the tattered notebook, I started to fidget. “I want your honest opinion.”

          “Okay.” I watched as Mariah’s eyes moved line to line. Bright green turned cloudy from tears as a soft smile tugged at dark lips. “Is this about…”

          “You.” Biting my lip, I looked down at my words. “I call it “Fight or Flight.” I thought about how you never gave up on me and how hard it is for me to share my feelings. I’d, normally, rather run then face how I really feel. But with you, you never let me run. I didn’t want to.”

          Gently, Mariah cupped my face like she had done before, stroking my cheek with her thumb. “I told you how much I hated talking about my emotions and you took that to heart because you’re the same way. I’m sure this song will be beautiful like all of your others. But, for now, it’s getting late.”

          “Yeah, it is.” Placing my hand over Mariah’s, I turned to press a soft kiss on her palm. “Goodnight.”

          A soft tent of pink covered the redhead’s cheeks. “Goodnight.”

Xxx

          “No, she’s not awake yet. Everything is…really good.” _That’s the voice she uses when she’s talking to Sharon._ I couldn’t help but smile knowing she was talking about us. “Mom, I know what I’m doing.” She paused, “okay, no I don’t. But…when you said love is complicated and messy, I don’t think you knew how messy this is. I’m not going to deny myself a chance to be happy but I also want to be a decent sister. I have no idea what will happen in the next forty-eight hours or what’s going to happen when we get back. All I can tell you for certain is that things have changed between us. I need to thank Devon later. If it wasn’t for this whole setup, I’m not sure Tessa and I would have worked out our issues. You know how stubborn we both are.” Laughter rang through the hotel suite.

          _I better make myself known before she talks about something else I’m not supposed to hear._ Stretching, I made myself look decent. _This shorter hairstyle doesn’t look too great after I sleep on it._ After a few minutes, I exited the room and waved ‘good morning’ towards the redhead. With a smile, Mariah pointed towards the empty mug beside the coffee maker. “Thanks.” I whispered as she continued talking about Crimson Lights.

          “Well, I need to go. Tessa just woke up and we need to make breakfast.” I tried not to laugh at her eye roll but failed. “I’ll talk to you later. Bye.” Ending the call, Mariah threw a dish cloth at me. “You’re no help. Now I’ll have to explain why you were laughing.”

          “It’s just so funny when you roll your eyes and do that “yeah, yeah, I got it” nod.” Sipping my coffee, I watched as Mariah topped hers off and joined me at the small table. “So, what would you like to do today?”

          “I’d like to stay in and let you finish working on that song. The lyrics are beautiful. I can’t wait to hear them when you play. I think it would sound better if you used your guitar verses the piano. But, that’s just my opinion. I am slightly biased though.”

          “Why is that?”

          “I don’t know.” Mariah held her coffee mug as if it were a lifeline. “It’s what you played when we first met. When you play the guitar it’s like an extension of yourself. More than a piano. I guess because you can move around with a guitar. It’s more fluid.”

          _She’s exactly right. My guitar is an extension of me._ “That’s…yeah. You can’t hover or I’ll never get anything done.”

          “Well, of course not. I’ll deal with emails and the fact that Hilary needs me to work out some stories for the show. It’s a really good thing we’re friends again.”

          “Why is that?” Mariah calling us friends warmed my soul.

          “Well, apparently, Devon was clearing out some space for Hilary because HWG owns GC Buzz now.”

          “So, we’re going to be seeing a lot of each other since I’m his assistant.”

          “Exactly.”

Xxx

**Mariah’s POV**

For the next few hours, Tessa and I did our own thing. I dealt with Hilary and her demands while Tessa worked on string progressions and solidifying lyrics. _She’s truly a sight to see when she’s in her zone. I’ve never seen her happier then when she’s playing a guitar._ I smiled seeing the serious look Tessa had as she scribbled in her notebook. _We don’t have to talk to enjoy each other. Simply being in the same space and doing our own thing is good enough for us._

“Even when I try, even when I wanted to, you won’t let me give up, give up holding onto you. Every time I fall, you’re the voice that carries through. I’m still learnin’, learnin’ learnin’ how to count on you.” Humming, Tessa continued playing. Moving with the music she felt. “Hmm, I need to add something here.” She mumbled, scribbling a note to herself. “You won’t let me hide. You won’t let me leave myself behind.” 

          Carefully, I snapped a picture of Tessa playing and sent it to Sharon. _This is who I fell in love with. No one sees her like this. -M_

Seconds later, my phone buzzed with a reply. _Yes, I can see that. But remember what she did to you. I only want you to be happy. -S_

“You’re staring again.” She teased. “I can feel your eyes burning into me.”

          “Sorry.” Looking back to my emails, I continued messaging next week’s guests. My heart raced when I saw a message from Devon.

          _Mariah,_

_Since neither of you have come back into town, it’s safe to assume my plan worked. You and Tessa are coming back to GC, right? Things have been a little crazy without you keeping Hilary’s schedule straight. The paperwork has gone through so I do own GC Buzz now. Don’t worry. You and everyone else will keep their jobs. That’s one thing Hilary stressed in the contract agreement. How have you only used the company credit card once? I hope you’ve both eaten over the past five days. Enjoy the rest of your trip._

_Devon_

“Devon’s been keeping an eye on us.” All playing stopped. “Not spying. Just the fact he knows you’ve only used his credit card once.”

“Oh, what else did he say?” There was worry in the musician’s voice.

“Just that things have been crazy without me keeping Hilary’s schedule straight and that the paperwork went through to purchase GC Buzz. Ironically, Hilary made sure we’d all keep our jobs. That’s very unlike her.” _Should I tell her about his question? I’m not quite sure if he was joking or being serious._

          Tessa’s eyes narrowed as her head tilted. “What else? You’re not telling me something.”

          _Now I have to tell her._ “His first question was if we were coming back to GC.”

It took a moment to dawn on Tessa what our boss was eluding to. A soft blush crept up the woman’s neck. “Oh.”

“There it is.” Leaning back in my chair, I folded my arms. “I’m not sure if he was joking or being serious. Do we really seem like the type to run off together?” All Tessa did was shrug. “Okay, yes. If we were in a movie, it would be the perfect cheesy ending but we’re not.” Letting my head fall back, I sighed. “Sharon said something along the same lines this morning before you woke up.”

“Is she upset that you’ve forgiven me?” Tessa started to fidget with the strings on her guitar.

“A little. Maybe not upset but concerned. I’ve had a rough past and she doesn’t want to see me hurt again. I can handle being drugged and married to the leader of a cult but I can’t handle falling in love and having my heart broken.” Tessa’s face paled. “And, I forgot to tell you about that.”

“Yeah, yeah you did. You told me some, but not everything. What happened?” She paused. “Only if you’re okay talking about it. If not, I totally understand.”

Placing my phone face down on the table, I took a seat beside Tessa on the couch. “It’s a long story and a huge part of my past. You already know about what Victor did but here’s the rest of my story.” Over the next hour, I told Tessa about Ian Ward and The Path. She was quite horrified because I spared no details. If she wanted to be with me, she was going to know everything. “Sharon found me drugged in a storage locker. I was wearing a wedding dress and everything. The marriage was annulled and we never spoke of it again.”

“Mariah,” the musician didn’t know what to say with this newfound information. “I’m sorry.”

“Now you see why I don’t trust easily. Or like sharing my feelings. In the cult, you didn’t share anything really. You just followed orders blindly.”

“I definitely…yeah that sheds a lot of light on things.” Guilt was clear in the woman’s voice.

“But that’s in the past. I can only look forward.”

“Mmhmm.”

For the rest of the day, Tessa worked on her song and I calmed Hilary down. That woman seriously can not function without me. As another episode of _How To Get Away With Murder_ ended, I yawned. “I’m going to turn in.” Standing, I stretched.

“I’ll probably go to bed soon too.”

Taking the popcorn bowl to the kitchen, I couldn’t help but watch as Tessa turned off the TV and folded the blanket we had thrown over us. “Goodnight.”

“Night.”

Something stopped me at the threshold of my room. “Tessa,” _I can’t shake the need to have her near me._  

“Yeah?”

“Do you want to come lay in here after you’ve done your nightly routine?”

My question through the woman a moment but eventually she answered with a smile. “Be there in a few.”

Entering my room, I cracked the door so I could change. _I don’t understand why I’m so nervous. We’ve slept in the same bed before. Granted, that was before all of this. Not that anything will happen. I need to stop._ After changing into a pair of shorts and a slightly baggy t-shirt, I crawled into bed. To pass time, I scrolled through FacePlace and other social media accounts looking back at pictures of Tessa and I. Hearing a light knock, I exited all apps and placed my phone on the table. “I’m decent.”

Pushing open the door, Tessa walked in cautiously. “I didn’t want to walk in on you.”

“Thanks.” I chuckled softly. “Appreciate that.” Unsure of herself, the taller woman moved slowly towards the empty side of the bed. Flipping down the covers, I tried making Tessa more comfortable. “That rule about not coming in here is lifted.”

“Good to know.” Getting comfortable, Tessa relaxed into the pillow. “This bed is better than mine.” One eye opened to peer up at me. “You took it on purpose.”

“Yes, I did. Remember, five days ago, I wasn’t a big fan of you. I’m glad that’s changed.”

“Me too.” A silent tension filled the room until Tessa spoke. “What’s going to happen when we go back?” Her voice quivered.

“I don’t know.” Sliding down, I settled into my own pillow. “But I am glad I’ll see you almost every day.”

“It’ll be weird going back and not waking up making coffee for two and helping cook breakfast.”

“Yeah.” _We’ve fallen into such routines. It’ll be hard not having them._ “Nick said he had an opening at Rainbow Gardens. He’ll send you the lease agreement tomorrow.”

Turning to face me, Tessa studied me. “Thank you, Mariah. You have no idea how much I appreciate it. And you giving me a second chance.” Unable to fight off another yawn, a laugh vibrated up the musician’s throat. “I guess that’s my cue to go.”

Before Tessa could roll over, I grabbed her wrist. “You can stay in here.”

Looking down at me a moment, Tessa tried to gage my emotions. “You sure?” All I did was nod. “Okay.” Lying back down, she sighed contently.

Xxx

**Tessa’s POV**

_What’s tickling my nose? And why is my arm moving up and down slowly?_ To my horror, when my eyes finally adjusted to the morning’s light, I saw nothing but curly red hair. _Oh God._ It took every ounce of self-control I had to not jerk away. _I can’t wake her. Mariah is not a nice person if she’s woken up. What am I going to do?_ Trying to move slowly, I froze when I heard a soft snore. _She snores? Can this woman get any more adorable?_ Not wanting to wake her, I tucked my arms under my pillow and tried going back to sleep. Feeling a shift beside me, I opened my eyes to find Mariah’s face inches from mine. _She looks so peaceful._ Taking in the sight before me, all I could think of was how much I wished this could be how I woke up every morning. _If only I hadn’t screwed things up so badly._

“Now who’s staring?” A tender smile graced the groggy woman’s face.

“Sorry.” My voice was a whisper. “I’ll get coffee started.” Before I could move, Mariah placed a gentle hand on my shoulder to keep me in place.

“Don’t.” Letting her eyes focus to the lighting, she continued softly. “It can wait.”

“Oh, okay.” _Something is different about her. The look in her eyes has changed._ “Is something wrong?”

“No. You called out for me in your sleep.” Mariah’s voice was tender and loving. “A nightmare I guess. You were sobbing and saying how sorry you were for everything. The only way to get you to calm down was for me to hold you.”

Heat rushed to my face. “I…I didn’t know I talked in my sleep.”

“At some point, we must have switched positions.”

“Oh, you knew about that…” _At this rate, my face is going to stay this color._

“I’m a light sleeper at times. I felt you move behind me and got worried. When you wrapped your arm around me, I knew you were okay.” Mariah debated her words carefully. “Tessa, despite everything, I still want us to be together. The past few days have reminded me why I fell in love with you. I saw the woman I fell for not the person you became after dating my brother. If you’re dating a Newman, you have to act a certain way. I know that. I’ve seen it happen. It’s stress that sneaks up on you and it changes a person.”

“What are you saying?” _Please tell me this isn’t another dream. If it is, don’t let me wake up._

Cupping my cheek, Mariah spoke quietly. “I want to give us a chance. But you have got to be part of this.” A whirlwind of emotions left me dumbfounded. “Your heart is racing.”

“Of course, it is.” Tears stung my eyes as I kissed her palm.

“Is that anyway to kiss your girlfriend?” That same coy grin I loved to see tugged at the shorter woman’s lips. Laughing, I closed the distance between us. _Her lips are just as soft as I remembered._ Tangling a hand in silky locks, I was surprised when Mariah deepened the kiss. _My body is on fire if she keeps this up._ I shuddered feeling her hand run down my side to stop at the bare skin between my lounging pants and tank top. Breaking the kiss, Mariah let her forehead rest against mine. “I don’t want things to go too fast. To burn white hot and then fizzle out.”

“Understandable. Besides, when we do go further, I want it to be in GC. San Fran is a getaway. It’s real but…”

“Our life is in GC, not here.” Tucking hair behind my ear, Mariah continued. “I’m glad you see it from my perspective.”

Moving back to my own pillow, I entwined our fingers. “I want our relationship to happen in “reality” not on vacation.”

Xxx

Arriving back in GC, Mariah and I dropped off her things at the ranch and then went to Devon’s office. The plan was to check-in with him and Hilary then get the keys for my new apartment. Terror ran through both of us when we heard Hilary’s voice through the door. Noticing my caution, Mariah took my hand. “I won’t let her make you a segment. Think about it this way: if you’re a segment, I am too.”

Smiling, I squeezed my girlfriend’s hand. “We’re in this together.”

“Exactly.” Taking a steady breath, Mariah pushed open the door. “You first?” She whispered.

“Are you crazy?”

“Ladies,” Devon’s voice rang through the office. “Come in. Both of you.” Entering at our own risk, we prepared ourselves for questioning. More from Hilary than Devon. Turning his attention to the older woman, he spoke. “We’ll finish this tomorrow. Right now, I need to catch these two up on everything that’s happened lately.”

Narrowing her gaze at Devon, then us, Hilary made her way towards the door. “You’re hiding something. Before last week, these two could barely stand to be in the same building together let alone the same room. You did something and I’m going to find out what it was.” With that, the powerful woman left.

Leaning back in his chair, Devon folded his arms. “So, how was your trip? Your reply to my email was pretty vague.”

“It was good.” We spoke in unison causing our boss to smile.

“Hmm. Just good? Because when you left here, like Hilary pointed out, you couldn’t stand to be in the same building. Now you’re standing pretty close.”

It dawned on Mariah before it did me. “You set the entire thing up, didn’t you? First the plane, then the hotel…if I didn’t know any better I’d think you, somehow, even set up-“

“Alex and Abigail?” Devon’s smile only grew. “While everything they told you is true, I just had them keep an eye out for you. They own that restaurant chain and were there for a visit. They knew you both from GC Buzz. I told them nothing about what happened with the label.”

Finally, I was able to think of a coherent sentence. “How did you know Mariah and I would spend time together?”

“Because now that I know what happened in San Francisco, a lot of things make sense. The two of you were inseparable and had a bond that I doubt anything could break. The two of you are drawn towards one another. I knew it wouldn’t take long for you to talk things out when you didn’t have the stress of GC weighing down on you. Speaking as your friend, not your boss, have the two of you kissed and made up?” I’m not sure about Mariah, but the blood drained from my face. “Or you actually did kiss and made up.” He paused, “I’ll keep it to myself.”

Sharing a quick glance with Mariah, she gave a simple nod. “Yes, we have.”

Our answer didn’t seem to phase Devon in the slightest. “Good. Now there won’t be that awkward tension in the office. Again, speaking as your friend, I’d steer clear of Noah. Especially, since the two of you are together.”

“Thank you for the heads up. When would you like me to start back?”

“Tomorrow. I know you need to move into your new apartment. And that gives you one more day to avoid Hilary’s questions.”

My brow furrowed. “How?”

“There are only two women who come in and out of here on a regular basis on their own. Mariah said it wasn’t hers so that left you. Like I said before you left, I’m not angry. You needed a place to stay and couldn’t ask for help. Your best friend was livid with you. I’m just glad Nick finally gave in.”

Something between guilt and mortification churned my stomach. “Nothing is hidden in this town, is it?”

“Not if you’re connected to a Newman, Abbott, Winters or even relatively famous. I’m glad you have a place now. Although, after being together for a week straight, I’m sure it’ll be odd to be apart.”

Smiling sheepishly, I stole a glance towards the redhead. “Yeah…”

A warm chuckle vibrated the man’s throat. “That’s the look. Anyway, get settled in and I’ll see you tomorrow bright and early.” Picking up the buzzing phone, Devon turned back into a businessman.

Gathering my things, Mariah and I quietly thanked him before leaving. Packing everything into my car, I spoke freely. “When do you report to Hilary?”

“I wanted to help you move in and get squared away so I told her tomorrow. She thinks I’m doing something with Sharon.”

“Thank you, Mariah.”

“You’re welcome.” Calling Nick, Mariah waited to put him on speaker. “Hey! How are you?”

“I’m good. Grabbing lunch for everyone. You back in town?”

“Yes, we landed about an hour ago. Can Tessa and I stop by Crimson Lights and get the key to her apartment? Or did you get lunch from somewhere else?”

“No, I’m at Crimson. Drop on by and I’ll give Tessa the keys.”

“Okay. We’ll be there shortly.”

Parking in my normal spot, I sat there a moment. The grip I had caused my knuckles to turn white. _I feel like I’m going to be sick. I just know we’re going to be ambushed with questions from Nick and Sharon._

“Hey,” placing a calming hand on my arm, Mariah squeezed gently. “It’s going to be okay. I’ll be right here.” Letting out a breath, I leaned my head back feeling blood circulate back into my hands. “You’ll be fine.”

Turning my head, I silently pleaded with the woman. “How do you know that?”

“I don’t. But Nick and Sharon both know that once my mind is made up, there’s nothing they can say or do to change it.”

“You made up your mind about me. You said you didn’t want to know me.”

“You changed it. Not many people can do that. You worked hard to regain my trust. I could have easily ignored you but I saw how distraught you were and how horrible you felt.” She paused, “and maybe what Devon said is true. Maybe we are drawn to one another we just needed to be out of the spotlight to figure things out.”

“I think it’s true too.” Glancing around, I saw no evidence of Noah. “I think it’s safe. Should we make a run for it?”

“Yeah, I’m pretty hungry.”

Entering Crimson Lights, Sharon waved us down right away. “Hey, Nick said you’d be by. He had to run and left the keys with me. You can meet up with him later. What can I get you for lunch?”

“Two sandwiches. Our normal orders.”

I waited until Sharon was gone before speaking. “Well, she hasn’t tried to kill me yet.”

Chuckling, Mariah shook her head. “She won’t. Unless you hurt me again. Then all bets are off. I can only stop her so many times.”

“Understood.”

“Here you are. Take a seat and I’ll come chat in a few.” _The fact that Sharon is smiling makes me uneasy. I’m not sure what I was expecting but it wasn’t her being nice._

Taking the food, Mariah and I sat at our normal table where we would have some privacy. Realizing how unsettled I was, Mariah took a bite of my sandwich. “See? Not poisoned.”

“You’ll regret that.” Grabbing the sandwich, I tried not to laugh at Mariah’s expression when she tasted the peppers. “Serves you right.” 

Swallowing, the feisty redhead took a bite of her own sandwich. “I really don’t see how you like those things.”

“You’re the one who ordered.” I grinned triumphantly as Mariah snickered.

“You seem in good spirits.” Sharon pulled over a chair. “Here’s the key.”

“Thanks.” Putting it away, I continued eating.

“When did you get back?”

“Late this morning. We went by Devon’s so Tessa could check-in and then here for lunch. I’m going to help her move in and get settled before going into work tomorrow.”

“Sounds like a plan.” All of Sharon’s psychology classes must have been filtering through her brain as she studied us. “Are you…”

“Yes.” We spoke in unison.

“But,” I continued. “We’re taking things slow. I don’t want to ruin this. I betrayed Mariah once and it won’t happen again.”

“Good. That’s what I wanted to hear.”

“I have no right to ask but, how’s Noah?”

Sharon’s brow rose. “He’s had better days. Noah’s taking this pretty hard. The way he sees it is you betrayed him and Mariah. Then the two of you ran off together on Devon’s private jet.”

“That’s not how it was.” Mariah spoke first. “Devon set everything up. The hotel, probably the places we went, and even the people.”

“What?”

Now it was my turn. “When we went to dinner, these two women came to sit with us. We all talked and it turns out they know Devon. He told them to keep an eye out for us.”

“That sounds very…Victor like.”

“That’s what I thought!” Mariah’s eyes grew a moment. “But I’m glad he did.” Warmth filled my chest seeing the smile Mariah had.

“Well, just keep an eye out for him. Don’t hide your love but be kind about it if you see Noah.” Glancing into the shop, Sharon continued. “Enjoy the rest of your day. I need to go. I love you, Mariah.” Hugging her daughter quickly, she turned towards me. “Welcome back to the family.”

To say I was shocked when the older woman hugged me would be an understatement. “Thank you.”

Xxx

**Mariah’s POV**

Once lunch was finished, Tessa and I started moving things into her new apartment. Rainbow Gardens aren’t bad. The small one bed one bath apartment was cute in its own “first place” way. _Hopefully, she can save up and not live here too long. At least it’s in a good part of town. She’ll be safe._ Sliding down the wall, I laughed at the exhausted woman lying on the floor beside me. “Hey, there’s a thrift shop outside of town that has good furniture. Do you want to see if they have some tables and chairs? I think I’ve got an air mattress in a closet somewhere. I will go camping but I cannot sleep on the ground.”

          “Such a girly girl.” Grinning, Tessa laughed at my offended expression. Taking my hand in hers, she kissed my knuckles. “You’re a Godsend. I couldn’t have done any of this without you. I’d love to do the thrift store but-“

          “Who said _you_ were buying?” I challenged playfully.

Leaning up, Tessa looked confused. “No. I can’t let you do that. Mariah-“

          “If it makes you feel better, you can help me babysit Faith to pay me back or something.” I paused, “you need furniture. This needs to become a place to live not just a place to take a shower.”

          Studying me, Tessa finally gave in. “You’ve made up your mind, haven’t you?”

          “I have. And, this time, you can’t change it.” Smiling triumphantly, I stood. “Now, let’s get you a bed. Or at least that air mattress.” Taking my hand, I pulled Tessa to her feet. Not realizing my own strength, the taller woman tripped and caught herself against the wall. My heart threatened to break through my ribs being trapped between the wall and Tessa.

          “S-sorry.”

          Before she could move away, I caught the back of her neck keeping Tessa in place. Hazel eyes searched mine. “Don’t be.” Pulling the musician in, I caught her lips in a slow and passionate kiss. Pulling the taller woman against me prompted her to deepen the kiss. Hearing a loud bang from the other side of the wall caused Tessa and I to jump away. “Thankfully that only happens until about seven or eight.”

          “Yeah…” Clearing her throat, Tessa tried getting her own heart rate back to normal. “Uh, let’s go.” Another bang.

          “Yup!” Grabbing our coats, we were out the door.

          A couple hundred dollars later, we returned to Tessa’s apartment. Thankfully, the owners of the thrift shop offered to deliver the table, chairs, and small dresser. We helped them move everything in and set up. Thanking them profusely, I promised free coffee from Crimson Lights for a month as they left. “I can’t believe you got all of this for less than three hundred.” Tessa looked around her apartment amazed.

          “I’m good at bargaining. I know the owners pretty well. Before I met Sharon, they took me in and let me work at the store. I promised to always shop there if I needed furniture.”

          Wrapping her arms around my waist, Tessa let her chin rest on my shoulder. “You really are amazing.” Kissing my cheek, she continued timidly. “I know it’s not the ranch but, would you like to stay with me tonight?”

          Turning my head, I smiled. “I’d love nothing more.” Capturing her lips in another kiss, I took her hand in mine. “I know it’s early but I’m exhausted. Let’s blow up the air mattress and get some sleep.”       

 

**A/N: I am aware that the song Fight or Flight was used in canon before this. The lyrics were just so perfect I wanted to use it. Song used: Fight or Flight by Cait Fairbanks. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9Qrg1NTxP4c**


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